Is it any wonder that I have so many unfinished and unstarted projects?

I’m currently revisiting an old workplace, helping out with the job I used to do in order to pay the bills and save some money for a summer holiday. It’s data entry work, hardly riveting, but I am getting paid for it nonetheless and therefore should be working.

Instead I am writing this post. It just popped into my head and I felt I had to start straight away. I’ve been here for almost two weeks and have tried to put a self imposed ban on twitter and my personal email account. I tried to give myself an allowance of checking it once per hour, it worked for a couple of days, and then it didn’t.

I have FOMO. And an unfocussed mind. I forget things if I don’t act on them or record them straight away.

If I’m on a computer I see no need not to be connected to everyone all the time. And it has destroyed my work ethic.

As a further experiment I decided to record all the random thoughts that popped into my head throughout the day that I would usually act on immediately so as not to lose them. Many points I still acted on right away, others were good to record so I could move on from the thought and continue working. But all showed just how attention deficit my brain is.

Just now I took a break from writing this to check twitter.

I have a problem.

***

Almost 7 weeks after writing that I am back at the same job for a couple more weeks and I’m finally publishing this post.

What is wrong with me?!

It’s hard to get out of my extreme lazy habits. Almost like I take it as a challenge to see how little I can do in a day and still manage to survive.

The last few months have been different for me. Business slowed down because I wasn’t paying it any attention and despite my savings I decided it was time to do some temping. I don’t want to have a full time permanent job that I hate ever again, so temping has been a nice compromise. Even nicer that I’ve managed to make the jobs I’ve worked so far part time hours.

After 6 hours in an office all I want to do is chill out. I don’t want to *have* to do something. So while Brend is getting up for work at 5.45 am and putting in 8 hours on his feet then coming home and either writing, playing music, prepping lessons for his new music students, catching up on the news, tending his plants or any number of other things that make him look like an on to it if not moderately stressed out man, I’m sitting on the bed waiting for him to finish so we can watch the next episode of The Wire.

That’s why I need deadlines.

After working for myself for over a year I’ve realised exactly how I work and how to make myself get things done. It’s a combination of doing things straight away so I don’t forget them. And giving myself deadlines that will make me look like an egg, make me miss out on something, or make someone angry if I don’t meet them.

It’s unfortunate. But it’s me. I’m trying.

As usual I missed the boat

WTJ Write Carelessly Now

And this time it wasn’t on purpose (I hate boats).

Turns out National Blog Writing Month doesn’t coincide with National Novel Writing Month at all. It’s the month before. As in October. As in this month which is nearly over.

Not that I was actually motivated to blog in October.

Anyway, the point is that Brend is going to do NaNoWriMo and I had absolutely no idea how big an undertaking this was! 2000 words a day?! Even if the purpose is just to get it all on paper unedited it’s still a pretty massive undertaking.

In the mean time I’m avoiding anything that looks like work by pretending that I’m tidying my room. I have actually managed to get rid of a sack of rubbish, a sack of recyclable paper, 2 boxes of stuff I don’t want and a sack of clothes, but it’s taken me 3 weeks and my room still looks like a bomb went off. I’ve done no writing and am still too lazy to work on my business. I can’t even call myself a blogger any more.

So.

This is me being accountable.

I’m going to subject you to the raving in my head for a whole month.

p.s ‘like’ Cupcakes and Mace on facebook and you’ll get my new posts in your feed and info on new jewellery designs and colours and I’ll think you’re totally awesome.

I Am Not A Tortured Soul

The ways creative people work, and get inspired, are as numerous as the creatives themselves. But as with everything there is a stereotype that fits: the tortured artist. One that both needs the pain of heartbreak and misunderstanding to create, and is heartbroken and misunderstood due to their creations. The vicious cycle seems to work for their art, but maybe not for their mental health.

I however am not a tortured artist. When I am tortured the creativity disappears. I need time, space, but most of all happiness to be creative. I need a fit mental state that is unburdened by destructive tendencies. When I feel bad I feel like crawling into a sheet fort and eating comfort food.

When I’m happy though, then I’m bursting with everything. I may be too busy to write, but I get hits of inspiration that leave me needing to use words. A new crush, amazing music, ridiculous times with friends when nothing is on your mind but the moment. Even the happiness of being completely comfortable and sated with my situation.

I need those days to create.

Those days are not an everyday occurrence anymore. But when they’re here they’re amazing.

I Do My Best

I-do-my-best

That’s all for today folks. I’m tired because I actually left the house today. And I left before midday. And then I assembled a whole bunch of necklaces and brooches while making plans to go to the Roller Derby and attend a Spice World party. MLIA.

Style Sample Magazine

As far as first forays into writing for someone else goes I think I didn’t do too badly.
Style Sample Magazine is a free to view, online magazine about and for fashion bloggers. It’s almost brand new, the second issue has only just been released and I’m a featured writer (woo!).

I sent my name to Tamia (Style Sample Mag creator and editor) through the contact sheet on the Style Sample Magazine website after reading the first issue and expected it would go nowhere, so I was pretty surprised when Tamia contacted me and asked if I would like to write a piece on the Glamourai. Of course I agreed and now that the magazine is out you can take a look.

Enjoy!

Rita Mae Brown

I’ve known the quote on my side bar from Rita Mae Brown for a while but didn’t actually know who she is. So I decided to investigate.

Rita appears to be an intelligent, super funny, amazing writer. You can tell this just by reading her bio.

She saves animals, and I quote her website, is “hailed as the Mother of the Feminist Movement, the Gay Movement”. And she seems humble to boot.

All in all she sounds like an amazing woman!

The following are some of her quotes (my favourites)

The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

Pornography exists for the lonesome, the ugly, the fearful – it’s made for the losers.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.

Virginia Woolf said that writers must be androgynous. I’ll go a step further. You must be bisexual.