A few weeks back I noticed a cool sounding role advertised at Xero. They’re on my list of ‘places I want to work’ so even though I’ve no formal experience as a technical writer I decided to go for the technical writer position anyway. Well, it’s been a few weeks now with no response other than the automatic “we’ve received your email” email, so I feel fairly confident saying it was out of my league.
I halfheartedly applied for another web based role at the NZ Nurses Organisation and was completely surprised when I was called an interview. I haven’t been interviewed for a specific job in over 5 years so the only thing making me not throw up with nervousness was the expectation I wouldn’t get the role. They did have a few candidates with actual qualifications & experience so I didn’t get that one either, and while that’s the result I expected it’s always a bit of a punch in the guts to be rejected.
The day following rejection number one was revelatory though. The 30 day reinvention project is coming to an end and through a combination of story telling & asking the right questions I think I’ve figured out what I want to do with my life. (!!) I think I really figured it out quite a while back but didn’t have the words to express it succinctly.
I want to help creatives run THEIR dream businesses. I want to be the admin, the assistant, the book keeper, and the extra pair of hands. I want to photograph their art, pimp them out, and be in charge of the lawyers when people are horrible. The amount of pressure to perform on command as a “creative” is too much for me. I’m no good at self promotion or getting things done for myself. Ive always loved organizing things for others, playing with numbers, and meeting deadlines.
In the real world where almost no small time creatives in NZ have the money to pay a helper good money it means I’ll be gunning for great companies first, learning experiences second, and boring but secure and well paying jobs third. All options have benefits. There’s nowhere but up.
I used to be such a smug fucking married. While everyone was breaking up and losing their jobs I was totally in love and earning money. In fact I was so confident that I left my job to be self employed while Sol supported me. I was finally ready to relinquish some of my independence in the hopes of running an empire one day, and while I had a back up savings account just in case (thank fuck) it was still a big deal to give up spending money and control.
Yeah, sorry about that.
I don’t regret any of my actions. I learnt so much about myself last year, what I want, and what I can live with. I became more confident, and happy. I’m learning that confidence in a relationship is very different to confidence outside a relationship though. At least for someone that is single for the first time in their adult life at the age of 24.
As half of a couple you can be completely oblivious to the signals around you when you’re out and about. It doesn’t matter if the guy at the next table is staring, because you’re not interested anyway. There is no one to impress. It doesn’t matter if you’re being too loud. You know who you’re going home with.
As a single lady Every. Fucking. Guy. is looking at you. Whether they actually are doesn’t matter, that’s what it feels like. It’s harder to relax. People become predatory instead of just being drunk and annoying.
Despite the person I became during 2009…the person I wanted to be; one with more confidence, more friends, and slightly more interesting things to say. I feel like I need to reinvent myself again. I need to become single Kim. Just Kim. Not Kim and Sol. Just Kim.
But if I already like who I am how can I do something drastic to reinvent myself?
Do I need to throw out all of my clothes and start again? Do I really have to join a gym? Because I hate working out.
One of the “new me” outfits I purchased this weekend just gone. The shopping trip was great, we spent from about 12.30pm till 5.30 pm at the mall in Lower Hutt scouring the chain stores and managed to score some good sale items.
I am particularly in love with my new check dress from Portmans. I’ve had my eye on it for a while so when I saw that it was $50 off I was stoked. It’s sleeveless and has a huge skirt that is able to be held up to my sides making a semi circle. It’s polyester and reminds me of raincoat material so it holds shapes really well and swooshes when I walk. It’s awesome. But you’ll have to wait for another day to see it.
There is still a lot more shopping to be done, I hope that the city, and in particular Cuba St, will hold some cute stuff. I see a lot more skirts in my future.
What I’m wearing
- Crazy eyes – Courtesy of my mother
- Knobbly knees – Courtesy of my mother
- White skin – Courtesy of my mother
- Black shirt dress – Jacqui E
I plan on changing the buttons on this dress to something more eye catching. Don’t count on it happening anytime soon though.
- Pink belt – Supre
- Black knee high socks with lace detail – Farmers
- Sneakers – Babycham
As always you can click on the photos to see just how much the wind storm messed my hair.
I am in dire need of a makeover. It has come to the point where sleep is far more important than having enough time to get ready in the morning, and choosing clothing must be done in the minimum amount of time. This usually means I grab the cleanest top and pants I can find and if I haven’t worn them to work that week they become my outfit for the day.
See my problem?
Thankfully for me (but maybe not so much for her) my friend Benhi has the same predicament. This weekend we are planning to rectify that by a day long shopping spree where we will push each others usual style boundaries and dare to be daring. I’ll need to get rid of the mounds of clothes I no longer wear that are all over my house as well.
In order to prepare I need some guidelines, otherwise all that money is going to go to waste.
What to do if you’re in the same situation
- Keep an inspiration folder at all times. I have a hardcopy one with pictures from magazines and mailers, and an electronic one with pictures from the net. if you’re using more than one computer it might be helpful to set up a private folder in Flickr to upload the photos. Don’t forget to record where you got the picture from in case you need to refer to it. I name the pictures with the link I got them from using ~ instead of / so the file name is valid :]
- Have an idea of the style you like and what suits you already.
- Go through the inspiration folder and really absorb what you’re seeing. Is there a recurring theme? Are the colours all the same, lots of waistcoats and pencil skirts? This is what you like and this is what you’re aiming for.
- Make a list of the staple items you need to achieve your look and do a mind dump of colours, accessories and descriptive words that fit within your new look, it’s a good idea to include a few pictures that encompass what you’re trying to achieve. – This is your shopping list.
- Go through your wardrobe and remove anything that you never wear, isn’t flattering, and doesn’t fit into your idea of your reinvented style. Then you can chuck out the gross stuff and give the goodies away.
- Take a trusted friend with you when you go shopping, one who has style you admire or who you’re happy to share your ideas with. They’re going to have to be brutally honest in helping you choose the items to create the new you.
- Don’t buy ANYTHING that doesn’t fit your self imposed guidelines. Try something on and then scan your list, does it fit the new style? No? Put it back. Same rules apply for anything that is too short, too long, too big, or you’ll fit in it when you lose a couple of kgs. Unless you’re an amazing sewer those clothes are never going to be modified and you’re wasting your money.
My latest inspiration has been Lookbook.nu. I’ve subscribed to the feed in my Google Reader so I can easily star anything I like and save it for reference.
At the moment it is showing a lot of ties and shirts, big ruffly petticoats, man style pants, black and white, chunky boots, blazers, thick rimmed glasses, collars and even a few top hats.
Is there a particular style you adhere to? Have you thought about reinventing yourself? Any suggestions or tips?