If you’re having work problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a job ain’t one. Not till next week anyway. So till then I’ll do my part to ease the suffering at the end of your first week and offer you a bumper list of distractions. Welcome back.

• My Guantanamo Nightmare. How has America gotten away with this?
• This is Greece. A country full of people reaching for their Plan Bs and exit strategies. Eleni Zoe is experiencing it and making me cry at the helplessness I feel.
• 2011 was a bitch for so many people. The 45 most powerful images of 2011 show just how much a muderous wench mother nature can be. Fingers crossed 2012 is better for all.
• If you were interested in yesterday’s post then maybe you’d be interested in the seven questions you should be asking yourself when you’re not sure who you’re becoming. It could help you get back on track.
• I lurve gin. If you love gin too perhaps a different gin drink for every day of ginuary would appeal?
• And if gin isn’t your thing how about flavoured vodka? Laura made 2 amazing concoctions for our NY beach getaway. I spent NYE getting pretty drunk off homemade peppermint schnaps and forty-four because they tasted too good to be straight vodka. :/
• “It’s a joke!” #checkyourprivilege
• I’m still so disappointed in myself for not making it to Yayoi Kusama’s exhibition when it was in Wellington for months! Especially when I see these photos of the result of white room + kids + thousands of stickers.
• If there were to ever be an xkcd comic for me to live by it’s this one. Going on my cubicle wall on Monday. Fuck. That. Shit.
• Not all of these tips are gold but some of them are killer. Only travel with people you live with. For extended periods of time anyway. 15 golden rules to live by when traveling the world.
• Chomsky on America’s political system. (it’s short and worth the click.)
• Wear your cake and eat it too!
• Single, but really wanting children? Kill two birds with one stone. yaaaaaaay 0_o
• Texts from Bennett. So ridiculous, so funny, so scary.
• Eeeeeeeee! This hedwig costume is adorable, elegant, and not at all “sexy big bird”.
• Trees are my favourite thing in the world that isn’t my Mum. I want to stay at the Treehotel so bad!
• These 25 ideas to make life better have been all over my internet the past few days. If you haven’t seen them yet prepare to be pissed that you didn’t think of them earlier.
• Even if you don’t know who Amanda Palmer or Neil Gaiman is the story of their wedding will suck you in.
• I could eat a horse!
• How does the baby get in there?
• Oh well. (I still giggle every time I see this)
• These sacred Indian sites are so beautiful. Even without the gorgeous animals photoshopped into them.
• Wear everything. All the time! There are almost no items in my wardrobe that I wouldn’t wear just because. That has a lot to do with my level of confidence and sense of style, but also because I don’t want to hide something in my wardrobe if I really love it!
• It’s always funny when Twilight is the butt of the joke.
• Glitter polish is all the rage at the moment but it can be a nightmare to remove.
• A letter to my dead girlfriend. :’[
• AFI’s 100 best heroes and villains are even more fun when you imagine a hero in a movie with the villain of the same ranking. The best is Lassie vs Cruella de Vil.
• Smart Pretty and Awkward is one of my favourite blogs. There are always brilliant seeds that make me really think. Like this: Imagine writing down every single idea you had for a whole day, or even a week, including all the “bad” ideas. You’d have so many things to run with!
• What’s better than Ron Fucking Swanson? Cookies.

Two lesbians raised a baby and this is what they got.

They don’t tell you in the diet books that this food plan might make you SHIT YOUR PANTS!

I have zero clues about anything to do with make up…but this looks totally doable. Now where does one actually buy the tools for this trick? And how do I remind myself that I shouldn’t rub my eyes with my fists?

Klara Harden hiked over Iceland by herself for 25 days. This mini doco is beautiful and made me start looking at flight prices immediately (again). Her FAQ on the MADE IN ICELAND doco is an inspiring short read as well.

This little girl will change the world

Do you guys watch Community? The christmas episode was one of the best things I’ve ever seen. We are all still singing the songs from it over a month later.

• I’ve already tweeted this link at least twice. The first pic is also my desktop background and I keep calling to Brend and shoving the screen in his face while cooing isn’t he cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute?! The ginger blue eyed seal pup who didn’t belong. I am so in love.
• A few things I love from the NZ design blog: Awesomely bright up-cycled homeware; fun, unusual, and large typography projects by Anna Garforth; and NZ designer Alex Fulton’s home is so bright! Brights over pastels any day.
• What it’s like coming home after a long trip. Things you used to value, you no longer value. “Some people are married, some are divorced but most are the same only two years older.”
• Things that fascinate me: Words that don’t exist in the English language (but do in other languages). Especially German words. Like Waldeinsamkeit, the feeling of being alone in the woods.



• When my detox is finished I am SO playing the restaurant website drinking game. But with something really really week or the game will be over after one website. Have SEEN any restaurant websites lately? They are awful. (Birthday drinks idea perhaps?)
• So the Rugby World Cup is in full swing in NZ and I’ve successfully avoided seeing any games, accidentally walking through any fanzones, or giving a shit about who wins. This piece on Gay NZ (NSFW) got me interested for a few minutes though. And then I went back to not knowing who Sonny Bill Williams is.
• How to be a hipster. Chapter 1: Appearance. Chapter 2: Interests. Chapter 3: Lifestyle. Just go look, her drawings are awesome, plus now you’ll know what to say when someone asks WTF a hipster is anyway. (for the record, according to Hannah I’m a hipster only in that I like tea and blog/photograph/craft.)
• Benhi is selling her rainbow shuffle shirt! (picture a unicorn dragging its butt leaving behind a rainbow trail)
• What people don’t get about my job: From A(rmy soldier) to Z(oo keeper). Super interesting if you’ve ever wondered what some professions really entail.
• On stalking



• Definitely the best entrant in American Apparel’s plus-size model search
• Neo-Hipster. “I know, I look different, but before you all start saying how I look like some midtown suit, let me explain. I haven’t gone pleb on you, I’m actually a neo-hipster now. It’s basically where you’re a hipster, but since hipsterism has gone so mainstream you dress and act like a regular person, ironically.”
• Sometimes people just don’t work for each other anymore. Friends can grow apart and fall out of love, just like, well, lovers. Sometimes you have to break up with your friends.
• Watching a movie on DVD vs downloading.
• Wedding dress made out of a parachute!
• “You’re so sensitive. You’re so emotional. You’re defensive. You’re overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You’re crazy! I was just joking, don’t you have a sense of humor? You’re so dramatic. Just get over it already!” Sound familiar?
• The interesting (slash scary) story of internet star Kiki Kannibal.

1., 2.

• Sarah from Yes and Yes guest posts some great advice about travel fashion over at Hi Fashion.
• I hate dealing with service people and getting appliances delivered. Seems that even a woman listed a the 26th most influential woman in media has the same problems!
• Extremely bad advice. “Sometimes I see people at the gym using the machines incorrectly, occasionally in ways that could be dangerous. Should I tell them?”
• If lame is the new cool I’m a total winner!
• Have you heard the good word about His Noodliness the Flying Spaghetti Monster? What about the Pastafarian Condiments the eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”?
• Such a simple design, but so beautiful. Coat hangers made from found wood.
• Why you don’t have a girlfriend.
• John Hughes, director, producer, and writer, died earlier this month. This touching story shows that even the people you think are out of your reach are still people. John may have been more human than most of Hollywood though.
• Homo sapiens. Distribution: Entire world.
• Glamour publishes a photo of a beautiful size 12 model and readers go crazy. And yet, I have doubts that showing a range of body types in magazines and fashion shows will become the norm any time soon.
• I’m guessing that we’re all familiar with the WTF and demotivational images that get forwarded around and posted online. Well, Cracked.com found explanations for a few of them, and the explanations are about as crazy as the pictures.

• There’s probably no cod.
• This meringue and raspberry ice cream cake looks delicious! If only it didn’t have raw egg in it I would consider making it for Chickie Little’s baby shower. O well.
• Agent Lover introduces a new feature ‘Ask a Gay‘. This month Shaun answers “What happens if 2 bottoms or 2 tops fall in love? does that ever happen? and How do u tell who’s a bottom or top?”. So great!
• Unexpected online eyeglasses epiphanies. Now that I’ve got 3 pairs of glasses that have the correct prescription in them, and the opportunity to buy more, I think every glasses wearer should get on the cheap internet bandwagon.
• A map of Springfield.
• Bows on socks and lacy gloves and cute grey dresses.
• If you’re stuck for ideas on what to write Creative Writing Prompts and Journaling Prompts look pretty great.
• Don’t be sad.
• The Times published a correction in 1969 regarding an editorial from 1920 which stated that space flight is impossible.
• How to get people to hate you.
• If you don’t tell people about your creations how do you expect anyone to know about them?
• These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed.

Some facts about New Zealand

While I was away

Disney made one movie, and they’ve been tracing it ever since.

• If you feel comfortable reading books online then you should definitely read Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. I read it a couple of years ago, but just stumbled across it online in its entirety. Published in 1932 it is a vision of the distant future where reproduction has been mechanised, a caste system is in place, and people are conditioned to accept their place in society. (If you don’t feel comfortable reading books online you should still try to find a paper copy because it’s a great book!)
• I often make plain bread with the bread maker, but this week when we had a few courgettes and mushrooms to use I did a quick recipe search and found a courgette and mushroom bread recipe. It turned out delicious!
• The busiest day for this blog happened when the Murder Burger ad was submitted to StumbleUpon. But they’re not the only ones that can come up with straight talking humorous job ads. Resn (another NZ company) can do it too. Their ad had to be censored by request of Seek, the job site it was posted on. But here’s the original version for your amusement.
• This is a very old post, ancient in internet terms as it was published in 2004. However, it is valuable information for anyone considering writing a book. The author reveals what most wouldn’t, information about living and struggling as a midlist author. It’s a really interesting read.
• Many (most?) of you reading this will be bloggers, and you’re all computer users. You need to look after your body, in particular your fingers, hands, and arms. Besides our eyes hands are often the first things to suffer. Adam Steer has posted some great exercises on the ProBlogger blog to help keep your fingers and arms nimble.

• I get most of my ideas in the shower. I suppose everything else gets blocked out so I can let random thoughts come into my head. Only problem is that you can’t take notes in the shower so I have to repeat the thought constantly in order to not forget it.
  Until now that is (or until someone gets these for me anyway). Aqua notes! Waterproof paper that you can stick inside your shower to take notes. Amazing!
• I love Dooce dearly. I think she is an amazing writer, she’s hilarious, and sarcastic, and real. The final instalment of the story of Marlo’s birth is beautiful and funny.
  

  Not three minutes after taking that sleeping pill I get hit with a contraction that knocks me to the ground. TO. THE. GROUND. Those cramps go from NO, REALLY, I GOT THIS BLOUSE ON SALE! to MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!!!!!!!!!!

• Sometimes when you think your relationship is over, that you’re falling out of love with your partner, that it’s time to move out, it’s actually because something else is going on. Laura recognised that her husband was probably going through a mid life crisis and didn’t mean it when he said that he no longer loved her. What she did to deal with it must have taken a lot of strength.
• OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
• Authority rules, so you need to know how to get it if you want to rule. Brian Clark from Copyblogger has written a completely free ebook on the subject. At a total of 18 well spaced pages it’s not too big, so you have no excuse for not taking a look.
• Vixel of Sparkle and Glitter has been feeding my Gala fascination lately with two great posts (and consequential discussions) addressing some of the current issues in the female blogosphere centring around Gala behind the scenes and whether she is all she and her fans claim her to be.

  I’m going to be completely honest here and say I’ve been following the discussions on Sparkle and Glitter and Cut Out + Keep like I would a celebrity scandal, more so probably – I feel more invested in Gala and iCiNG. I’ve loved hearing other peoples take on Gala and the matter at hand and Vixel’s articles on constructive questioning and copycat accusations have provided a perfect place for discussion. I know I’m not the only one doing it. Why do people feel the need to hide their fascination with this internet blogger celebrity (e-lebrity?) I wonder.

• To throw a bit of whimsy and pretty into this mix take a look at another gorgeous Betsy Johnson dress on a pretty girl in long grass, and learn how to make roses from maple leaves. :D

Matt Mullenweg speaking at WordCamp NZ this weekend. The start of the video shows me winning a prize and shaking Matt’s hand! His session was a Q&A on WordPress, definitely worth a watch if you’re interested in WordPress and where it’s going.